It's Throwback Thursday and I'm posting what was my most popular blog post! I've updated with new material from different people as well.
Are you THAT Clueless?
This is a list of stuff I've heard over the years regarding my Deaf/Blindness...
* "Oh you must really miss hearing things" - How can I miss something I've never had in the first place??
* "You don't look Deaf or Blind" - Uhh how am I supposed to look? Have a freaking sign around my neck?
* (Asked to my Mother) "How is your daughter doing?" (Mom'ssnapback) "Ask her she's standing right here!"
* "What's it like being Deaf?" - Dunno what's it like being Hearing??
* "How long are you going to stay Deaf?" = How long are you going to stay stupid?
* (Explained to someone I'm Deaf and need to lipread) (person turns white and freezes in fear) - Oh for crying out loud it ain't contagious!!
* (Turns around to catch someone glaring at me) "What's the matter with you!! YA DEAF???" - Yes I am, what's your excuse?
* (Taps way into room with White Cane) "Hey! How'd ya get here? Drive?" - Yeah! I stuck my cane out the window and tapped on the road ahead of me!
* (Explaining how a Hearing Ear dog works) "So when the doorbell or phone rings..." (interrupted) "Oh then the dog BARKS at you!" -Uhhh no I'm Deaf remember???
* "Deaf people can't have sex" "Whaaa? Where the hell ya come up with that?" "Well they can't hear the sounds of lovemaking or see in the dark to talk..." (facepalm)
* (Explained I'm Deaf) (Enunciating) "Ohhhh Caaaaaaanyoooooouuuuu uuuunderstaaaaaaaand meeeeeeeee?" (I really wanna punch these people).
* (At a home show...leaning against my White Cane...waiting) "Oh where ya get that?" "pardon?" "The free stick!" "I'm blind and this helps me get around" (like there's a table giving away free "sticks" to the first 200 people)
* "You can't be Deaf! You're understanding me!" - it's called lipreading dufus
* (Spotted my C.I.) "Oh is that the new Bluetooth??"
* (Asked after explaining why I was bringing my Hearing Ear dog in the building) "Oh so the dog's gonna interpret for you?"- I'm lost for words
* "Where are ya from? Where's the Accent from?" - it's called a Deaf accent.
* (Bill Collector calls house - Hearing Son answers) "Hello may I speak to your mother?" "She's Deaf and can't hear on the phone" "I don't believe you!" "Okay" *click* - Good boy :)
* "Oh so you're into Goth, ghosts, graveyards and such?" "Whaaa??" "You said you were a member of the Association of the Death" "of the DEAF!!"
* (Explained I can't hear the PA system and please come get me.....after a looooong wait I inquire about my turn) "We tried calling you ten times!!"
* (Passed a note with "Can you read and write" written on it) I grabbed their pen and wrote "No I can't" and pass it back, they become sad and walk away. WTH???
* (After asking for something in a store) "It's over there" "Over where? I'm nearly blind (holding up White Cane)." "You can't be...ya got glasses on" (trying hard not to whack 'em with my cane)
And THEY think we're dumb???
After this blog came out, I've had several new ones sent to me:
* "I'll pray for you, then you can become normal" Whoa! As a Christian I understand the need for prayer and intercession, but please if you need to pray - pray for my family finances, good jobs or widsom, NOT for me to be "normal".
* To a wheelchair user "It must be great to be sitting down all the time." Oh sure, they're always sitting when they got to drag their legs in and out of the car, in and out of the tub, trying to reach the cupboards, yeah easy life...shaddup!
* To a Blind person "I'd kill myself if I went Blind" Blind man's comeback "Why wait?"
* To a Blind person "When you eat, how do you know where your mouth is?" Ever eaten popcorn in a dark theatre? Found your mouth then??? Shaddup!!
* "Why do you have a Cell Phone? You're Deaf!" Uhh there's texting......and other apps for communicating!
* "How do Blind People wipe their butts?" Seariously??? I've heard the expression "He can't find his own ass with both hands and a flashlight" but it doesn't make it true! When's the last time you've seen a mirrored toilet so you can see your own ass to wipe?? Good grief!!!
* Asked to almost EVERY Deaf person "Can you drive?" Can YOU drive with the stereo blaring, carrying on a cell phone conversation, chatting with everyone in the car or screaming kids?? Same thing! I once saw Hubby's friend drive a stick shift tow truck, backing into driveway with a coffeecup in one hand, cig in the other & a cell phone to his ear!!
* A Deaf mother was asked by several Doctors "How are you going to communicate with your new daughter - let alone take care of her if you're Deaf?" Wow! Uh doc...it's called ASL!! Look it up!
* "Do Deaf people get tired of Signing?" No but we get tired of idiots (sweet smile).
* Find out the person has a Disability "But you look so happy?" WTH!!?? Am I supposed to be pitiful, depressed & wailing at the world to help me?? Good Gawd NO!! (It'll make me happier to hit these people....but not going there).
* To blind person "Oh you're Blind? You must like Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles! Do you swing your head back and forth like them??" I'm speechless......
* To person on crutches "You got to be faking it so you can get Disability, not have to work & get all the cool parking spots!" I'm so glad there's no disability benefits for pure idiots!!
Now this is just all in good fun! I am willing to answer curious questions from people on my disabilities as I feel the simplest way to erase ignorance is by educating. I'm sure there are others who don't mind either. But PLEASE think your questions through! :)